Conclusion

I've finally wrapped up my year in Finland and am back home in Texas now.

I just want to say that I miss living in Finland. I miss Europe. I miss the forthrightness of the people and the simple richness of the culture. It was all really wonderful, and I hope to retain some elements of it in my life now.

I'm not one to be easily attached. I always tell people that I'm used to leaving places behind because I had to move so much when I was growing up (I sometimes think that it's a bit of a personality disorder to be able to handle goodbyes to easily), but I was sad to leave Finland. I think I'm beginning to feel like an adult, and in leaving, I'm parting with friends who are also adults. Here are people with real lives, who have accepted me into their lives as a true friend - not just a student, a mentoree, or a little sister - and I'm so grateful for that.

So to everyone who made this a wonderful year: thank you so much and best wishes for your futures!

Love,
Nan

And so on...

I realized today that I lost my Helsinki travel card last night... after returning from reporting my lost wallet at the police station... yep, it just keeps getting better.

But more seriously, now that I've stopped being angry at the world, I think that God is trying to teach me a lesson. For the past year, I've gotten used to living on my own, to doing things my way. Remember my laundry post from last fall? I think from instances like that, I've learned to streamline my life. I'm starting to figure out the little comforts that I enjoy: doing things with my hands, baking, creating things in general, lighting candles, reading at night, cute kitchenware, etc. But I've also figured out an order in life that I enjoy and am unnecessarily proud of at times, and I get stressed when that order is upset.

I think God's trying to teach me that it's not necessary - and maybe even destructive - to rely so much on my own sense of order... the world isn't that orderly, and the messiness is kind of beautiful at times.

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By the way, I met the young cheerleader on the tram again last week, third time this year. We acknowledged each other with smiles, hers very shy. Then when she got off the tram, I saw her looking for me. When our eyes met, we waved goodbye. It was really nice. :)

Mixed emotions

I lost my wallet, and the attached keys, today, just a few short weeks before leaving Finland. It sucked. And the morning was another miserably drizzly one. The afternoon was better but rather schizophrenic, as Terrence put it. The clouds rushed across the sky making the day mostly sunny, sometimes cloudy, and always very windy.

After losing my wallet, one of my thoughts was that I couldn't wait to go back to the U.S. I just looked forward to being past this mess of canceling cards, needing to get a new license, and possibly having to pay loads and loads of money to replace my key.

A little after 21.00, I finally made up my mind to brave the weather - which had by then become drizzly again and extremely windy - suck it up, and go make a report at the police station.

I sullenly took the elevator down to catch the bus, but just as I found a seat, I saw an elderly man fall down stiffly onto the wet sidewalk near the bus stop. It was like watching a wooden board tip over as a result of some freak of gravity. The guy behind me in line was paying the bus driver, but he stopped and got off the bus to try to help the old man. He took a look at his head and hands, which were bleeding onto the pavement, asked him some questions, tried to call someone, and finally helped him sit up to wait for help. He was having some difficulty tugging the old man up at first, so I was about to get off the bus myself, when a couple of girls, who had appeared to wait for the next bus, agreed to call the ambulance (or call someone, soitta...). In the meantime, the bus driver waited for the guy to get back on the bus. Having put the old man in the care of the girls, he returned and thanked the driver for waiting. The driver said "Ei mitään" (it's nothing).

During that entire episode, I had completely forgotten about my missing wallet. There was something about it that produced mixed emotions in me. I was reminded of why I love Finland, love the decency of the people here, and love trying to be a part of that decency. Watching someone help an old man. Learning to offer my seat on the tram to some grandmother... though after a few minutes of hesitation, I have to admit.

Afterward, making my way to the police station in that rain - with my umbrella flapping around unhelpfully in the wind and my shoes becoming progressively squishy - was something else, but by the time I was halfway home again, I was really happy. Listening to "Se mig som jag är" then the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, I attempted to sing along, out loud, on the streets, which were my own for a bit because of the dreariness.

It's going to be okay.

A Good Day

A good day in Helsinki... :)

This morning started off sunny but ungloriously normal, with the forecast of a drizzly day looming just at the edge of that unpredictable Finnish sky, but I had gotten enough sleep for the second night in a row and managed to get up early enough to throw together some sandwiches and pay the housing manager. I was late in catching a bus to lab, but I managed to connect quickly to my second bus and so was not too late.

The first really sweet surprise happened at the bus stop, while I was waiting for that bus to lab. I was feeling fairly impatient, as I had already missed the two previous ones, but suddenly I thought I heard a strange, small voice calling my name. "Naaann. Naaann." Thinking I was hearing things, I ignored it for a second before looking up in the direction of the sound. It ended up being Samuel! He is a little boy that I "mind" once a week - the cutest baby boy - and he was saying hi with his dad Mark from Mark's apartment balcony.

Later in the evening, I went to Mikko and his girlfriend's housewarming party. I really appreciate Mikko. A few days ago, we left lab at the same time, and it made me unreasonably happy. :) It's funny. Perhaps because it takes so long to get to know Finns, when a Finn starts to open up, it feels really worthwhile and special. At the party itself, I had a good time talking and joking with people from lab. Now that my time in the lab is almost at an end, I'm becoming more reluctant to go, when I see the progress that I have finally made in building some of these relationships... and just how wonderful the people in my lab are.

After the party, I headed to the city center to wait for Mark below the Torni - with it's pretty tower that glitters at night - where Mark has been interning this summer. It was around 11.30pm, and the city was absolutely beautiful. There's something about summery Friday evenings in Helsinki that makes one indescribably... content. Perhaps it's the peacefulness that surrounds all the bustle; perhaps it's the still visible hint of a fading day that gently fills the air with a deep blue glow. Just beautiful. When speaking about Finland, both Erika and Elliot have said things along the lines of: you don't realize how much it's grown on you until you leave, and then you really miss it. I think I'm already starting to miss this place.

After I found Mark, we went to Molly Malone's, his part-time place. We grabbed a drink with a couple of his co-workers there, including a British guy who reminds me a little of a tall hobbit. We talked about his love for his family, building a life in Finland, his enthusiasm for his summer job and Torni, and me becoming a part of the Irish family, at large. :P

I think Finland has grown on me, especially now that I finally feel like I'm building a life for myself here.

A view from Erika's apartment, at around 11.30pm.

Live life earnestly

That's my conclusion from our Fulbright gathering tonight at Elliot's place.

If it's the right thing to do, do it.

If it's not the right thing to do, don't do it.

If you believe in it, go for it.

No if's, but's, what's, when's, etc etc.

SNOW and more...

Sorry about the delay in putting up new stories! Here is another compilation picture post. :)

But first of all... yay Finland for beating the Czech Republic in ice hockey this morning! Only four teams left now: Finland, Slovakia (who beat Sweden!), USA, and Canada. Finland plays USA tomorrow night. Now that's something to anticipate!

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I said a couple of months ago that the snow doesn't pile up much here. Well, boy, was I wrong. I haven't seen sidewalk concrete for over a month now, and at some places, the snow has been shoveled into a pile as tall - or taller - than me! Here are some pictures.

This is the road outside my apartment. There is so much snow that it is difficult to tell where the sidewalk ends and where the road begins. Remember my post about the bus drivers having incredible skills? They truly truly do. However, even they cannot compete with Mr. Weather sometimes. Kumpula is the physical sciences campus of the U. of Helsinki near my apartment. The narrow, winding roads had so much snow earlier this month that only one bus could pass at a time, while the other unfortunate one would have to carefully back up into some side road. They ended up canceling that segment of the route altogether for a few weeks.


This is what happens when cars are left parking for an entire winter...


Senate Square. There is so much snow that the steps are no longer steps. Some brave teens have actually turned these steps into a sledding hill. Only a thin path, barely visible on the right side of the picture, has been cleared for visitors to the church.


Of course, the snowy landscape can be quite beautiful, too, especially when the sun comes out, and that is happenings more and more these days. In fact, by 6pm, there is still light outside. This is a huge deal considering that two months ago, the sun was still setting before 4pm!


So much untouched snow that it's kind of amazing! :)

Now, with all of that snow to take care of and an entire city to keep functional, the snow plows are often seen hard at work. I watched these two shovel snow the other day. Their motions were so deft (and their color so yellow) that they reminded me very much of Wall-E.

Here is Wall-E number one....


... and there comes Wall-E number two!


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Talking about the snow brings us to the topic of winter sports. Winter sports, such as cross-country skiing and ice-skating, are an integral part of Finnish culture and education. From a young age, it is mandatory for Finnish children to at least learn the basics of these sports through their physical education classes. This winter has been the coldest and snowiest Helsinki has seen in YEARS, and this week, school children get a holiday just to play in it.

Also, instead of Lent, there are two days of celebration called Laiskiassunnuntai and Laiskiastiistai (Shrove Sunday and Shrove Tuesday), except they are basically days designated for sledding. I don't think I've talked much about pulla yet, but it is pretty important in Finland. Pulla is a traditional Finnish sweet bun. However, it tends to be more dense than the buns that we are used to, and it contains a special spice, the name of which I always forget. So the Finns create various versions of pulla to celebrate their various holidays. For lent, they have laiskiaispulla. (I didn't take a picture myself, so this one is actually from online.) It's a basic pulla filled in the center with a delicious whipped cream (and sometimes jelly, too!) and topped with sugar or sliced almonds or both!


For Runeberg's Day, which celebrates the poet Runeberg, they have a runebergin pulla. This variation is a little more extreme, but the sweet nature of the bread, as well as that special spice, are still there.


I keep saying that I'm going to get fat if I stay in Finland much longer...

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"Friendship Day"

Instead of Valentine's Day, Finns celebrate ystäväpäivä: ystävä = friend, and päivä = day. Only recently has the holiday taken on a more romantic tone, with the increasing influence of mainstream Western culture. But this day in Finland can still be celebrated with friends and other meaningful relations. I liked this postcard so much that I bought it and stuck it up on my wall.


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Finally - and briefly - a small reflection of Finnish humor, which a couple of friends and I found at a computer cluster in the main university library.


Translated, it reads "SLOWEST MACHINE IN THE WORLD."

Ice Swimming!

Last week, I finally got to go ice swimming with Erika, Kate, and some ladies from the Fulbright center: Johanna who led us, Topi, and elegant Terhi.


It might sound crazy, but there's something really wonderful about ice swimming. First we walked shivering over a snowy path from the changing room to the steaming smoke sauna. This place was kind of funny, in addition to being really warm... Whenever someone came in - especially if it was a man - he would pour a ladle full of water over the hot rocks to create more steaming heat. I think that seeing who could withstand a hotter sauna was sort of a test of manliness. I couldn't really handle it at first and had to sit on the steps. (The temperature is hottest up on the platform.) Now, this is where the ice swimming comes in.

Before leaving the sauna, Johanna told me to breath calmly. "Just tell yourself that you're not going to die." It was very good advice.

So you step onto the stickily frozen wooden porch and first let yourself adjust to the cold a little bit. This is pretty important. The second time I went into the lake, I didn't wait as long to cool down beforehand, and the water felt much colder and stung my skin a little. So anyway, then you walk over a walkway to the lake, where you slowly let yourself down a slippery ice-covered ladder and into the water. Those who are brave enough will actually take a short swim around the little lake, but I only dipped myself in then slowly let myself out. After adjusting to the cold then dipping into the lake, the freezing air actually doesn't feel that bad at all. It's even rather pleasant. Then on the way back to the sauna, I could see everyone's bodies enveloped in a cloud of steam. After the lake, I could withstand much more heat in the sauna and managed to sit on the raised platform.


I told myself while outside that the sauna was hot, but now, it's time for the cold part, and the cold part is supposed to be cold. Somehow, ice swimming ends up being a truly amazing blend of the two extremes.

By the way, here's a quick fact. Aaron didn't believe this until he looked it up himself. While most saunas stay at around 40-50C, Finnish saunas range at about 80-110C (170-230F). The older men, who are experienced, might try for higher. And while there are about 5 million people living in Finland, the country has over 2 million saunas. Amazing in kind of a quirky way, huh?

Left to right: Johanna, me, Kate

European Figure Skating Championships

Yesterday, I watched the final gala to the European Figure Skating Championships - held in Tallin - with my new roommate from Estonia.

This gala is such a good idea. No required jumps, no score-keeping. Just the best of the best doing what they love.

And pairs figure skating... talk about defying gravity, for real. Even the camera can't follow them at times.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O99bwcFwSTE

I wish this video was of a better quality, but you get the general gist.

Fun Nordic Facts

- topics that have come up during lab coffee breaks

Snow. Mikko told me that it has snowed approximately 40-50 cm so far this winter. The ground has been covered with a permanent layer of snow for over a month now.

Equinox: a country of extremes. With all this wintry darkness, I think we tend to forget that Finland also has some of the brightest of days. By the equinox (March 23rd), Finland will again have longer days than most of the rest of the world. I tried to represent the changing length of day in this doodle.


"Ass washer": best Finnish inventions. That's exactly what a man in my lab called it. I've always wondered what those little hoses, commonly found beside sinks in private and public bathrooms alike, were for, and now I know. That must be why all the public bathroom stalls here are actual doors that go all the way to the floor.


The drying cupboard is another great Finnish invention. It's easy to use, saves tons of space, and just makes so much sense! I'm definitely going to have one built into my future house.


Polar bears in Norway... ... are dangerous. When scientists go to the research stations in northern Norway, the first thing they are handed is a gun, and their first lesson is on how to shot down a polar bear. The sad thing is that polar bears will sometimes drift on ice sheets - broken off as a result of global warming - to places where they don't normally exist. Then they have to be shot and killed, because otherwise they will disturb that particular ecosystem.

Also, despite being carnivores, polar bears don't eat penguins, because penguins only live in the South Pole.

Viili: the mother of all yogurts. You always hear about live cultures in bacteria (and how wonderful they are), but with villi, I can actually believe it. Of a fantastically gooey substance, this almost tasteless snack is normally eaten with some sort of jam and/or fruit. I think it's somewhat of an acquired taste, though. I'm trying to acquire it because villi is supposed to be quite good for you, but I still have to eat it with an enormous blob of strawberry jam to stomach it. This is also specifically Finnish, though the other Nordic countries have their own versions, as well.

Winter in Helsinki

It has started to snow in Helsinki. With the drop in temperature, what used to be drizzles of rain have now become flakes of snow, falling down at intervals throughout the day. It never snows for long (perhaps 15 minutes at a time), but it does so often, leaving the ground covered with a thin, consistent layer of fresh snow. It's pact over sidewalks and streets, powdered elsewhere.

It was kind of interesting to watch the slow flakes outside the window of my bus tonight. Some flakes would hit the side and simply fall to the ground. Others, however, would somehow skid, slide, then skid again to be carried up by the wind, regrouped with its original flurry. It made me think of that part in "Finding Nemo," where the baby turtle tumbles out of the current. Nemo freaks out, and the papa surfer dude turtle says something like, "He'll be alright."

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A couple of things made me happy today.

Earlier in the fall, I met a 12-year-old girl on the tram on her way to cheerleading practice. I ran into her again this afternoon. :) She smiled at me with recognition, and I waved at her. She told me that they had just gone to competition and won 2nd place, almost 1st. She's a flyer, too!

Then while waiting for the bus this evening, a young woman started to say something to me in Finnish (fifty something...). Seeing my confusion, she asked...

'Do you speak English?'

'Yes.'

'Did bus 55 come yet?'

'No, I'm waiting for that bus, too.'

'Oh, then I haven't missed it! I've had such good luck with buses today! Today really has been a very good day!'

I smiled. And she continued.

'I also found a wedding present for my friend, and it was only a couple of euros! I thought that it would be like 15 euros!'

She had a very high forehead so that beneath her black knit cap, I could've sworn that she was bald, if not for the wisps of blonde hair poking out from underneath. Later on the bus, I sat about a row behind her, and watched her pour herself a small cup of hot tea from a thermostat. She made me really glad, in a small way.

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This post has been written over the course of two days. It is now day 2, and I now take back what I said before about the on-and-off snow. It has been snowing for about 24 hours now, and on my way home, I saw a city bus being towed away.

Otherwise, I've actually been pretty impressed by the bus drivers. At -15C, spreading salt on the road no longer helps, because it doesn't lower the freezing point enough. The pastor who conducts our choir told me that while most cars get snow tires in the winter, buses don't. I've found that buses will often attempt to stop a few feet in front of where they would normally stop, then half crunch, half slide into place. On my way into the city today, my bus slipped at a turn, then basically swiveled around to make the turn, reoriented itself and kept going. These people are good.

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The days are mostly grayish now, and with so much night, it's good to have little things that make you happy. Here are a few of them.

Candles are very nice for the evenings.


Knitting, being productive, and slowly creating something good.


Buying flowers for oneself. ;)


A random boar meat dinner from the neighbors downstairs. (The Scottish/Irish guy is studying at the school of forestry, of which a group of students had hunted a boar.)


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When I came back to Helsinki from the States in November, the biggest shock was how much winter had settled in... how much shorter the days were. Now, I'm really beginning to love it. You would think that with being the capital of Lapland and the home of Santa Claus, Finland would put together a grand getup for Christmas, but it hasn't been that way at all. I want to say something about the calm of the snow and whatnot, but I'll just put up some pictures. :)

Traditional 7-candle setup. You see these EVERYWHERE... in the window sills of business buildings, government halls, shops, and homes. This particular one was in one window at the lab.


A snowy morning at the bus stop, at around 10am.


A Christmas tree sale. :) Joulukuusia.


Erika's friend Janna discovered some Christmas lights in a drawer. Our apartment has a small plastic tree left by a previous tenant, so we made it up into a little Christmas display.

Beautiful Paivi and energetic-child-at-heart Maria before a choir concert at a nursing home.


A 5cm-ish angel ornament from a really nice holiday gathering at Paivi's home. Everyone received one of these - "small (pieni) or even smaller." Maria followed it up with, "God can see greatness even in small things." And, with a look of surprise as we each drew a present out of a bag, "Nan, you got the biggest one! The biggest one for the smallest person. See, you're important to God, too." :)

Aurinko paistaa!

The sun came out today, along with a pale blue sky! Though we are now at about -15 degrees Celsius.

I also got my H1N1 vaccination this afternoon. All students under the age of 25 can get it in Finland for free. :)

Sorry about the slack in updates! More will come in the next couple of days... once I finish my Finnish exam!

The fire marshall has maintained...

"The fire marshall has maintained that it is not allowed to light candles at any time in the Biomedicum Helsinki building... not even during the holiday season."

- on a TV monitor in my research building.

The Heart of Country Music

I put this entry off, until I was able to get pictures from the Fulbright Center. The setting of this entry is the American Voices Conference in Turku a couple of weeks ago. For the conference, each of us presented on an aspect of American culture near and dear to us. My topic was country music (in the last 15 years, as I've known it), and if nothing else, it was great to share some of my favorite songs with a room full of Finns. I started with a slide on "how to speak Southern." This was followed by the trends that I have seen in the last decade... from the old gentle, story-telling style, to a bigger and more pop-like sound, with colorful explorations of the use of music videos, and to now. I ended with a large section on the themes that have stayed the same. I really enjoyed this section, and it gave me an opportunity to look up the lyrics to some old favorites. This one by Tim McGraw is so beautiful.

She's my kind of rain
Like love in a drunken sky
She's confetti falling
Down all night

After my presentation, one man made several comments about how country music is a bit like traditional African folk music, with focuses on story-telling and the rain.

I also got a couple of comments about how Protestant country music is, and whether it is possible for nonreligious people to enjoy country music. My answer was "yes". I think that the core of country music lies in telling stories from real life, and if God is a part of life for some people, then it will show up in the music. The nice thing about country music, though, is that it's not trying to be religious. God shows up, in the same way that love and loss do. Afterward, Mrs. Stein - Julia's mom who was visiting - came up to me to tell me more. She's from the South, so she was really happy about my presentation, and she also had a lot of insight to share. I wish she had been up there with me to answer some of those questions.

So, the better answer would have been:

The origins of country music really date back to the Great Depression, when the small farmers and cowboys of the South were really having a hard time. People didn't have a lot money, so life was simple. Church was important, because it was probably the primary social outlet for many people, so religion naturally made its way into the music. Similarly, because life was simple, events such as love, loss, and even the rain were a big deal. When you didn't have a lot to talk about, you talked about the loves and losses in your life. So that's how country music became a form of story telling.

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Now for a few pictures from the conference.

The American ambassador kicked off the conference with a shout-out to the Fulbright program. By the way, I know it's hard to see him, but doesn't he remind you of Mr. Schwarzenegger, just a little bit?

Dinner on a boat, called the "Rudolph", I believe. I order a plate with three types of fish. I'm wearing a pink sweater, and the lady sitting next to me is named Terhi. Terhi is probably the most elegant person I know. I can't decide whether when I grow older, I want to be like Terhi or like one of those ladies who ravingly speak their mind and enjoy it.

The river running through Turku: the city's pride and joy.

8am, post daylight savings, late October, Finland

These pictures were so beautiful that I had to put them up. I caught this softly glowing view from my balcony one morning, before I had to run downstairs to catch the bus to lab. This is what I mean by "gentle grayness."

Airplane Conversations

On my way from JFK to DFW last Thursday, the plane I was on flew over several storms so that the seat belt sign never went off once. At one point, we dropped for a good 2 seconds, and I heard a soft collective gasp sort of ripple down the aisle.

I have gone through stages with flying, from youthful fears, to a rather matter-of-fact enjoyment and peace during college, to a couple of rough flights that set the fear going again. I've found that I'm not too afraid of little bumps along the way, but unexpected falls and rises tend to get my heart going. And that doesn't help at all, considering how much and how often I have to fly nowadays.

However, I'm amazed by how just the right people have turned up next to me at the right times to alleviate my fears about flying.

"You know, when we hit turbulence, I just compare it to being in an off-road four-wheeler. Then it's not so bad."

"My husband is getting his license in instrument flying, and he told me that once you're in the air, there's virtually zero chance of anything going wrong." Well, that's fortunate, since I actually enjoy take-offs and landings, so I don't worry about those. At the same time, she took away some of my fears about cruising, the part I don't like.

On my way home from Yale after graduation, we flew over a storm, which produced a good amount of turbulence. The lady next to me was married to an army pilot. Her hand tightened around his arm. He shrugged, "Just some bumps." Then perhaps feeling that he needed to say something more, he put away his book and turned to me, "During a storm, there are these air columns that accelerate up and down. When a plane flies over them, it gets accelerated along with the air. That's why it feels like the plane is rising and falling. But don't worry, these planes are built to withstand much more than this."

And we can't forget the international flight pilot, who accommodatingly answered any and all questions I had about the mechanics of flying, while adding interesting facts of his own. Good man.

Free Coffee at McDonalds

Christoph: One latte, please.

Man at the counter: I'm sorry. May I offer you a regular cup of coffee for free instead? [Looks at me] Would you like one, too? [I nod dumbly.]

My thought process: Wait... free? Really? I must have heard wrong... That's too easy...NOTHING is free here.

My words to Christoph: Did he really just say "for free??"

Christoph: Yeah! That's what he said.

My words to the man: Wow, kiiitos!

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And that's how we got two cups of coffee with milk for free from McDonalds. :) It turns out that they were supposed to sell latte until 10pm. However, they had cleaned the machine 10 minutes early tonight, so the man felt obligated to give us free coffee instead. I like Finns.

Karaoke Bar

Two of the Fulbright girls have this idea of holding regular dinner parties, where we all invite our friends, so that we can meet each others friends and make more friends. So anyway, we began with Indian food night on Saturday. I ended up missing most of it because of a feud with Expedia, but the food was delicious, and I was able to make it out to a karaoke bar with them afterward.

The bar, Paja, was filled with old regulars, who were really excited to see us. The bar wasn't packed, so we didn't have to wait for hours to get a song in, and they were so welcoming... "New blood, that's why," Erika told me. :) In fact, one elderly lady bought Alex and me each a blueberry shot with whipped cream for singing "You're Still the One" by Shania Twain, because she wanted us to have more fun. They spoke broken English, and we spoken negligible Finnish, but it was great. During a few of the songs, one couple waltzed around the bar counter, as the rest of us standing - the Americans - swayed in various directions. Another blond lady, probably over 60, pulled off her hairtie to shake her hair around her shoulders and dance with us. We want to go back and perhaps become regulars, too.

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Other happenings...

My uncle, or second uncle I suppose, visited Helsinki on a business trip from China. It still sort of blows my mind that after only seeing family about once a decade, I've gotten to see an uncle for the second time this year by being in Helsinki.


The Herring Festival. :) Fish pastries, super dark and rich Finnish bread, cloudberry jam, and all sorts of pickled herrings.



One of the best cheeses I have had thus far, maybe even the best.

Project Update 1!

Some of you, especially those who supported me through the application process, might be wondering how my project is actually going. I haven't talked much about it for a couple of reasons. 1. Information security in my lab - like all other forms of security in Finland - is rather tight, so I can't speak in depth about the subject matter. 2. The progress has been slow.

The autism group here is currently in sort of a state of flux. Half of the Peltonen lab is situated at the Sanger Institute in Cambridge. My immediate adviser is about to transfer to Sanger, and another PhD student is already there. That leaves a graduate student, an undergraduate, and myself. It's a little scary, but perhaps exciting, too, as an opportunity to do some independent thinking.

As for the project itself, the preliminary data, which was supposed to have been complete before my arrival, is still being collected. I've been trying to be productive, though, by learning UNIX for linkage analysis and working on a couple of small projects. Whether or not the linkage analysis produces anything good, I'm glad to be learning it, since genetics is becoming so bioinformatics based and really over my head. :) I hope that soon, I will get to work on my originally intended project, but overall, I'm just going to push myself to learn as much as I can this year.

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On another note, the days are getting shorter now, and the nights longer. The change really accelerages during the end of September and the beginning of October, and now it seems to have settled into a more constant pace.

I had thought before that Finns would be hardered to this drastic change of seasons, but they're actually quite sensitive to it, perhaps because the change is so drastic... from all day to almost all night, every year. I can sense it in my lab. The coffee breaks are just a little heavier. People in general are becoming a little more moody and irritable. Terhi tells me that you learn to appreciate the dark, and I think that this is true. I personally prefer loads of sunshine, but the grayer days are sort of gentle, when not windy, and really not very cold. The ruska of the autumn is also settling in and slowly fleeing, in turns depending on the type of tree, so that bright yellow leaves are swirling around all the time. And it's really neat the rare moments when the sun decides to appear and tints all the buildings with gold. This sounds cheesy, but it's a fitting time to start drawing on those inner sources of joy: listen to good music, read good books, and appreciate good company.


Last week was a rough week for many of us with the Fulbright, personally and professionally. Asked by Karoliina about the progress of our projects, many of us have found ourselves facing new challenges and finding new directions. On the personal side, we're all really glad and grateful to be here, but the realities of living in a foreign country for a year are beginning to sink in.

I think that the overall tone of our grants will be like a wave. Giddy excitement, followed by the harder face of reality, until things equilibrate into a steadier, calmer sort of content enjoyment and productivity.

First Snow

The elevator in our apartment complex smelled like wet dog this evening.

It snowed for the first time in Helsinki today. It was mixed with rain, though, so the weather was quite cold and gray.

The good news is that our apartment heater is finally on, high enough for the metal panel along the wall to feel warm to the touch.

Hospital Choir, and settling in... :)

I am joining a small group of amateur singers who call themselves the Hospital Choir. The group has been around for a couple of decades, and now, it consists of a core of eight or so middle aged and elderly woman, plus a younger pianist called Marika, and a pastor who conducts and sings bass.

It was really a blessing to find this group. I've been looking for something simple and musical to do, and they were one of only a couple of community choirs I found online, with English websites. They practice once a week and then go sing at nursing homes for people who can't make it to church anymore.

I went to my first nursing home visit after church today. I didn't sing, since I don't know most of the songs yet, but it was very sweet. The nurses walked/wheeled 15-20 ladies into a small dining room, where the choir sang for them. Somewhere in the middle, Paivi performed two solos. Listening to her, I realized that she was actually quite good. Her voice has become a little more coarse and trembled ever so slightly from the effects of age, but it still sent little shivers through me, as she made her way through the melody.

Afterward, a few of the ladies at the nursing home tried to speak to me. Unwilling to say en puhu suomea (I don't speak Finnish) to open-hearted old women who in turn didn't speak English, I just tried to smile and nodd. I was, however, able to catch a few hyva's (good) throughout their speech, so I could say kiitos (thank you) in return.

During my first practice with the choir, a few of the women told me that they had been praying for new people and were very happy that I had found them. It felt strange... to be the answer to someone else's prayers. I've prayed for similar things with other groups before, but I've never been on the other end. In a way... it's very humbling... to be the blessing, also to know that God is still watching out for me, even when I'm not paying half so much attention to Him.

This group has been been the answer to my hopes, too, hopes that I honestly didn't put much prayer or heart into. I had hoped, without seriously believing, that I would find a good church in Helsinki. But through Lea, the lady who created the English website, I have actually discovered a good Baptist church, in a country that's over 90% Lutheran, since the state religion is Lutheran. The services are in Finnish (with English translations), but they remind me a lot of some churches I have been to at home. When I mentioned this to Lea, she told me that the church was founded by an American pastor over 20 years ago. Cool, huh?

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In other news, I'm further settling in. I only have a few good friends, but they are friends that I can just hang out with, whether it's in a bar, on an island, or at someone's apartment. At an international student party this past weekend, I knew enough people to feel close to some and comfortable around others. It's really wonderful to feel less and less self-conscious and to be in a setting where there are enough people whom I care about, as well as people who care for me. Just enough.

This knowing of people is related to something that I sort of love about Helsinki. It's the capital and has a big-city feel, but at the same time, it's really not very big at all. It's nice when I can walk through a Unicafe and say "Hi, how are you?" to the few people I recognize. :)