I realized today that I lost my Helsinki travel card last night... after returning from reporting my lost wallet at the police station... yep, it just keeps getting better.
But more seriously, now that I've stopped being angry at the world, I think that God is trying to teach me a lesson. For the past year, I've gotten used to living on my own, to doing things my way. Remember my laundry post from last fall? I think from instances like that, I've learned to streamline my life. I'm starting to figure out the little comforts that I enjoy: doing things with my hands, baking, creating things in general, lighting candles, reading at night, cute kitchenware, etc. But I've also figured out an order in life that I enjoy and am unnecessarily proud of at times, and I get stressed when that order is upset.
I think God's trying to teach me that it's not necessary - and maybe even destructive - to rely so much on my own sense of order... the world isn't that orderly, and the messiness is kind of beautiful at times.
-----
By the way, I met the young cheerleader on the tram again last week, third time this year. We acknowledged each other with smiles, hers very shy. Then when she got off the tram, I saw her looking for me. When our eyes met, we waved goodbye. It was really nice. :)
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Mixed emotions
I lost my wallet, and the attached keys, today, just a few short weeks before leaving Finland. It sucked. And the morning was another miserably drizzly one. The afternoon was better but rather schizophrenic, as Terrence put it. The clouds rushed across the sky making the day mostly sunny, sometimes cloudy, and always very windy.
After losing my wallet, one of my thoughts was that I couldn't wait to go back to the U.S. I just looked forward to being past this mess of canceling cards, needing to get a new license, and possibly having to pay loads and loads of money to replace my key.
A little after 21.00, I finally made up my mind to brave the weather - which had by then become drizzly again and extremely windy - suck it up, and go make a report at the police station.
I sullenly took the elevator down to catch the bus, but just as I found a seat, I saw an elderly man fall down stiffly onto the wet sidewalk near the bus stop. It was like watching a wooden board tip over as a result of some freak of gravity. The guy behind me in line was paying the bus driver, but he stopped and got off the bus to try to help the old man. He took a look at his head and hands, which were bleeding onto the pavement, asked him some questions, tried to call someone, and finally helped him sit up to wait for help. He was having some difficulty tugging the old man up at first, so I was about to get off the bus myself, when a couple of girls, who had appeared to wait for the next bus, agreed to call the ambulance (or call someone, soitta...). In the meantime, the bus driver waited for the guy to get back on the bus. Having put the old man in the care of the girls, he returned and thanked the driver for waiting. The driver said "Ei mitään" (it's nothing).
During that entire episode, I had completely forgotten about my missing wallet. There was something about it that produced mixed emotions in me. I was reminded of why I love Finland, love the decency of the people here, and love trying to be a part of that decency. Watching someone help an old man. Learning to offer my seat on the tram to some grandmother... though after a few minutes of hesitation, I have to admit.
Afterward, making my way to the police station in that rain - with my umbrella flapping around unhelpfully in the wind and my shoes becoming progressively squishy - was something else, but by the time I was halfway home again, I was really happy. Listening to "Se mig som jag är" then the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, I attempted to sing along, out loud, on the streets, which were my own for a bit because of the dreariness.
It's going to be okay.
After losing my wallet, one of my thoughts was that I couldn't wait to go back to the U.S. I just looked forward to being past this mess of canceling cards, needing to get a new license, and possibly having to pay loads and loads of money to replace my key.
A little after 21.00, I finally made up my mind to brave the weather - which had by then become drizzly again and extremely windy - suck it up, and go make a report at the police station.
I sullenly took the elevator down to catch the bus, but just as I found a seat, I saw an elderly man fall down stiffly onto the wet sidewalk near the bus stop. It was like watching a wooden board tip over as a result of some freak of gravity. The guy behind me in line was paying the bus driver, but he stopped and got off the bus to try to help the old man. He took a look at his head and hands, which were bleeding onto the pavement, asked him some questions, tried to call someone, and finally helped him sit up to wait for help. He was having some difficulty tugging the old man up at first, so I was about to get off the bus myself, when a couple of girls, who had appeared to wait for the next bus, agreed to call the ambulance (or call someone, soitta...). In the meantime, the bus driver waited for the guy to get back on the bus. Having put the old man in the care of the girls, he returned and thanked the driver for waiting. The driver said "Ei mitään" (it's nothing).
During that entire episode, I had completely forgotten about my missing wallet. There was something about it that produced mixed emotions in me. I was reminded of why I love Finland, love the decency of the people here, and love trying to be a part of that decency. Watching someone help an old man. Learning to offer my seat on the tram to some grandmother... though after a few minutes of hesitation, I have to admit.
Afterward, making my way to the police station in that rain - with my umbrella flapping around unhelpfully in the wind and my shoes becoming progressively squishy - was something else, but by the time I was halfway home again, I was really happy. Listening to "Se mig som jag är" then the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, I attempted to sing along, out loud, on the streets, which were my own for a bit because of the dreariness.
It's going to be okay.
Friday, June 11, 2010
A Good Day
A good day in Helsinki... :)
This morning started off sunny but ungloriously normal, with the forecast of a drizzly day looming just at the edge of that unpredictable Finnish sky, but I had gotten enough sleep for the second night in a row and managed to get up early enough to throw together some sandwiches and pay the housing manager. I was late in catching a bus to lab, but I managed to connect quickly to my second bus and so was not too late.
The first really sweet surprise happened at the bus stop, while I was waiting for that bus to lab. I was feeling fairly impatient, as I had already missed the two previous ones, but suddenly I thought I heard a strange, small voice calling my name. "Naaann. Naaann." Thinking I was hearing things, I ignored it for a second before looking up in the direction of the sound. It ended up being Samuel! He is a little boy that I "mind" once a week - the cutest baby boy - and he was saying hi with his dad Mark from Mark's apartment balcony.
Later in the evening, I went to Mikko and his girlfriend's housewarming party. I really appreciate Mikko. A few days ago, we left lab at the same time, and it made me unreasonably happy. :) It's funny. Perhaps because it takes so long to get to know Finns, when a Finn starts to open up, it feels really worthwhile and special. At the party itself, I had a good time talking and joking with people from lab. Now that my time in the lab is almost at an end, I'm becoming more reluctant to go, when I see the progress that I have finally made in building some of these relationships... and just how wonderful the people in my lab are.
After the party, I headed to the city center to wait for Mark below the Torni - with it's pretty tower that glitters at night - where Mark has been interning this summer. It was around 11.30pm, and the city was absolutely beautiful. There's something about summery Friday evenings in Helsinki that makes one indescribably... content. Perhaps it's the peacefulness that surrounds all the bustle; perhaps it's the still visible hint of a fading day that gently fills the air with a deep blue glow. Just beautiful. When speaking about Finland, both Erika and Elliot have said things along the lines of: you don't realize how much it's grown on you until you leave, and then you really miss it. I think I'm already starting to miss this place.
After I found Mark, we went to Molly Malone's, his part-time place. We grabbed a drink with a couple of his co-workers there, including a British guy who reminds me a little of a tall hobbit. We talked about his love for his family, building a life in Finland, his enthusiasm for his summer job and Torni, and me becoming a part of the Irish family, at large. :P
I think Finland has grown on me, especially now that I finally feel like I'm building a life for myself here.
A view from Erika's apartment, at around 11.30pm.
This morning started off sunny but ungloriously normal, with the forecast of a drizzly day looming just at the edge of that unpredictable Finnish sky, but I had gotten enough sleep for the second night in a row and managed to get up early enough to throw together some sandwiches and pay the housing manager. I was late in catching a bus to lab, but I managed to connect quickly to my second bus and so was not too late.
The first really sweet surprise happened at the bus stop, while I was waiting for that bus to lab. I was feeling fairly impatient, as I had already missed the two previous ones, but suddenly I thought I heard a strange, small voice calling my name. "Naaann. Naaann." Thinking I was hearing things, I ignored it for a second before looking up in the direction of the sound. It ended up being Samuel! He is a little boy that I "mind" once a week - the cutest baby boy - and he was saying hi with his dad Mark from Mark's apartment balcony.
Later in the evening, I went to Mikko and his girlfriend's housewarming party. I really appreciate Mikko. A few days ago, we left lab at the same time, and it made me unreasonably happy. :) It's funny. Perhaps because it takes so long to get to know Finns, when a Finn starts to open up, it feels really worthwhile and special. At the party itself, I had a good time talking and joking with people from lab. Now that my time in the lab is almost at an end, I'm becoming more reluctant to go, when I see the progress that I have finally made in building some of these relationships... and just how wonderful the people in my lab are.
After the party, I headed to the city center to wait for Mark below the Torni - with it's pretty tower that glitters at night - where Mark has been interning this summer. It was around 11.30pm, and the city was absolutely beautiful. There's something about summery Friday evenings in Helsinki that makes one indescribably... content. Perhaps it's the peacefulness that surrounds all the bustle; perhaps it's the still visible hint of a fading day that gently fills the air with a deep blue glow. Just beautiful. When speaking about Finland, both Erika and Elliot have said things along the lines of: you don't realize how much it's grown on you until you leave, and then you really miss it. I think I'm already starting to miss this place.
After I found Mark, we went to Molly Malone's, his part-time place. We grabbed a drink with a couple of his co-workers there, including a British guy who reminds me a little of a tall hobbit. We talked about his love for his family, building a life in Finland, his enthusiasm for his summer job and Torni, and me becoming a part of the Irish family, at large. :P
I think Finland has grown on me, especially now that I finally feel like I'm building a life for myself here.
A view from Erika's apartment, at around 11.30pm.
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