Saturday, June 12, 2010

Mixed emotions

I lost my wallet, and the attached keys, today, just a few short weeks before leaving Finland. It sucked. And the morning was another miserably drizzly one. The afternoon was better but rather schizophrenic, as Terrence put it. The clouds rushed across the sky making the day mostly sunny, sometimes cloudy, and always very windy.

After losing my wallet, one of my thoughts was that I couldn't wait to go back to the U.S. I just looked forward to being past this mess of canceling cards, needing to get a new license, and possibly having to pay loads and loads of money to replace my key.

A little after 21.00, I finally made up my mind to brave the weather - which had by then become drizzly again and extremely windy - suck it up, and go make a report at the police station.

I sullenly took the elevator down to catch the bus, but just as I found a seat, I saw an elderly man fall down stiffly onto the wet sidewalk near the bus stop. It was like watching a wooden board tip over as a result of some freak of gravity. The guy behind me in line was paying the bus driver, but he stopped and got off the bus to try to help the old man. He took a look at his head and hands, which were bleeding onto the pavement, asked him some questions, tried to call someone, and finally helped him sit up to wait for help. He was having some difficulty tugging the old man up at first, so I was about to get off the bus myself, when a couple of girls, who had appeared to wait for the next bus, agreed to call the ambulance (or call someone, soitta...). In the meantime, the bus driver waited for the guy to get back on the bus. Having put the old man in the care of the girls, he returned and thanked the driver for waiting. The driver said "Ei mitään" (it's nothing).

During that entire episode, I had completely forgotten about my missing wallet. There was something about it that produced mixed emotions in me. I was reminded of why I love Finland, love the decency of the people here, and love trying to be a part of that decency. Watching someone help an old man. Learning to offer my seat on the tram to some grandmother... though after a few minutes of hesitation, I have to admit.

Afterward, making my way to the police station in that rain - with my umbrella flapping around unhelpfully in the wind and my shoes becoming progressively squishy - was something else, but by the time I was halfway home again, I was really happy. Listening to "Se mig som jag är" then the Phantom of the Opera soundtrack, I attempted to sing along, out loud, on the streets, which were my own for a bit because of the dreariness.

It's going to be okay.

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