Being Asian in Finland

When I had tea with Kirsi last week, she mentioned an article about Finns and the Japanese. Research somewhere showed that Finns and Japanese people connect more easily than do Finns and Norwegians.

I thought about it, and there is some validity. For example, both Finns and the Japanese seem to have this softer, more steadily paced, and respectful manner of speaking. Additionally, while Tokyo is one of the largest cities in the world, like Helsinki, it is also one of the safest places in the world.

That got me thinking about my own Chinese heritage. Recently, I've felt little bits of my Chinese upbringing resurfacing, because of their connection to Finnish culture.

During tea, whenever Kirsi said something good about herself, she would downplay it immediately afterwards, like 'Oh, but no, maybe not really...' In China, I had always been taught to hesitate in the face of compliments as a way to be humble. This means saying things like, 'No, I'm not that good at ...' After moving to the States, adults thought that this was sweet and a sign of a good upbringing. However, as I got older, I started to get comments of 'Don't fish for compliments.' It took me a long time to realize that downplaying personal strengths requires the other person to reaffirm you by saying more good things, and this is a negative indication of a lack of self-esteem in America. Thus, I learned to say 'Thank you' and just accept or acknowledge the compliment, whichever is appropriate. On the other hand, when Finns do say something good about you, they mean it as a fact, not a compliment.

I have also noticed a slight change in my mannerisms. As mentioned above, Finns seem have more paced conversations, where interruptions are considered rude. The American style of conversation is more 'overlapping', oftentimes with people vying for talk space, and it takes some skill. In the States, I have learned to do this with people I am close to, and only in the past couple of years have I learned to really speak up and speak my mind. However, now that I am in Finland, I still want to speak my mind and am striving to be truthful, but I find myself less willing to interrupt fast-paced conversations. When in a group, I'm more inclined to wait for a pause in the interchange - an end to a cluster of thoughts - before jumping in with my own comments. I'd like to find a good balance.

It's funny. If you've ever been to China before, Chinese people can actually be pretty loud and boisterous. But as a child in China - the daughter of two intellectuals - I was expected to be quieter and more respectful when in public, and I suppose some remnant of that has stuck with me... since it never evolved by also growing up in China.

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New shoes by Dinsko, a Swedish company. One advantage to having small feet is that most Finns have larger feet, so the sale section often has a good number of small shoes. I got these for 25 euros. ^^


While I bought these because I wanted a pair of everyday-every-activity-shoes, I am also conforming a little to the Finnish sense of style, which I am a little ashamed to admit. The most popular outfit this fall seems to be a loose top, with leggings or skinny jeans and dark shoes. The overall tone is relatively modest and subdued in color, yet stylish and comfortable, all of which I really like.